Fear. False Evidence Appearing Real.
We all know what fear is and I’m not referring to the fear of danger. Fear of danger can be healthy. It can protect us from all kinds of things.
What I’m talking about here is the fear we live with daily that stops us from truly living. It shows up throughout the day; in dealing with new situations, in our relationships, in our thoughts, in our day to day activities.
Fear is synonymous with Ego. It keeps us small and keeps us stuck. We hear that voice in our head telling us what we can’t do or shouldn’t do. Through fear we stop moving forward and we get trapped in old patterns.
I just had a moment of Ego based fear. Thinking back on it, it seems ridiculous but in the moment it was very real. I dropped my son off at one of his classes then proceeded to park in the crowded city where there were no easy parking spots. To park I would have to parallel park. I used to be great a parallel parking when I lived in the city but in the last 10 years of comfy uncrowded rural-ish parking I lost the ability. But today, I had to do it if I didn’t want to park blocks away. I got into position and fear set in. I didn’t want to make a fool of myself. What would people think of my lame parking ability? I froze and I failed and moved on after two attempts. I had let fear lead me toward failure. I had believed in a voice that I allowed to be real.
At this realization I made a decision. I decided after going around the block a couple more times that I would attempt to park without fear and I did. I did it on my next first attempt.
We can look at my above fear and think oh that’s so little. Parking fear isn’t a real fear. But parking fear it really was not. If I’m going to be honest with myself and you I will see that this fear goes deep and far to my early days. What I was really fearing was judgment of failure.
This is how fear works. It’s never really about what it appears on the outside. If we dig deep we can find the fear that lives within us and replicates itself over and over again in new scenarios challenging us to learn and overcome.
Fear is a sure sign that we are neglecting our inner voice of love and acceptance and trust. If you sit quietly you will be able to hear the voice of love that has the potential to speak louder than fear. You must first make this choice. That’s what I did the second go round of my parking attempt. I decided I would ignore the fear and choose my personal power instead.
The choice is yours.
Witness the insanity or your fear voice and choose differently.
If you’re ready to make the choice toward love based thoughts instead of fear then next time you notice a fear based thought, pause and take it in.
- What is the fear? Witness it.
- What is a fear based story from your past that this current fear may have originated from?
- Could this story from your past be holding you back from moving forward in your life?
- Now pause and consider that these fears, both the surface fear and the core fear, may not valid to your life?
- Now look deeper and consider if the fear you are recognizing is truly the fear or its roots dig deeper than what it seems.
Can you laugh at this fear?
Think about it, parking is not fearful and the reality of people judging me for bad parking is quite possible. But does it really affect my day or life if someone, a stranger or acquaintance, laughs at my parking ability? NO! These things shouldn’t have the power to affect my own self-perception. Parking be damned. I’m awesome with or without you.
As you can see fear almost always is about more than it seems. Rarely is it what it appears on the surface. Taking the time to explore your fears and consider their source is a huge step in overcoming fear and finally being able to move forward.
No one wants to live in fear. I know I don’t and I’m pretty sure you don’t want to either. Wouldn’t it be great to be rid of the fear that slows you down and stops you from doing those things you really want to do? Give the exercise above a try and see if it will help you get a little more clear on what your fears are and why they even exist.
Until next time my fearless friend.
I bid you a good day full of love and adventure.