I believe…

I believe in an energy that flows around and through us. This energy is the love and guidance that connects us all. When we slow down and stop we can feel it. It is tingly. It is welcoming. It is connection and power and truth. It is love. It radiates all around us, grounding us and connecting us to one another – to the trees, to the air, to the tiny specks of miracles that surround us. We were born into this energy of love. Our journey is leading us back to our true being – a reconnection to our power, our truth, our innate energy. We return to love. I am awakened. And to you my friend and love, I honor you on your journey and wish you the strength to go back and return to who you came here to be.

Living Your Life on Purpose

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Moments of pure ecstasy await you. Pure bliss beckons you. And life, that is yours to conquer is right around the corner. OK, I may be over exaggerating things here. I’m just trying to pump you up and get you feeling your life the way you are meant to.

Have you ever stopped to think about how much you’re living the supposed to’s. Supposed to’s are any and all of those things that in your mind must be done. Eating falls into this category. So does work, relationships, paying bills, etc. Take note of your days and how much of what you’re doing are supposed to’s. You wake up, when? Why? Because you’re supposed to. You most likely eat 3 meals a day. Why? Because you’re supposed to. Do you include veggies because you love them or because you’re supposed to? You go to school, choose a major, get a job, why? Because you are following your dreams or because you are following a life progression of supposed to’s.

What parts of your day are done because of love or passion and which fall in the category of supposed to’s? Here’s a chart for you to get your thoughts on paper.

 

Supposed To’s Choose To’s

 

Now that we have you thinking a bit about your supposed to’s vs. choose to’s, how do you feel? Do you like this arrangement? Do you like feeling like you lack control of your day?

So, what’s the solution?

There are a few actually. One is to see things from a different perspective. “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change” as quoted from one of my all time favorites, Wayne Dyer. What does this mean exactly? When you can see your situation from a different perspective, change the way you look at things, it changes what you’re looking at. Here’s an example; I have 3 kids and man do they need a lot; food, clothes, love, learning, space, drives places and more. I can look at all this as supposed to’s. I’m supposed to make breakfast, lunch and dinner. I’m supposed to wash their clothes, help them learn, etc. This is how I used to see it. I would wake up with the looming feeling of taking care of my kids needs. It was a bunch of supposed to’s and honestly I wasn’t too happy with any of it.

Then I shifted my perspective.

I saw what I was doing for and with them as a gift. I was able to be a part of their lives and share awesome moments with them. I no longer dread emptying the dishwasher and instead celebrate it. Heck, I don’t even notice it anymore as a chore. It’s just become a part of my beautiful day with my kids. Shifting my perspective has dramatically changed my days and my life.

Another solution, when simply changing perspective isn’t enough is actually making a change.

Oftentimes people are in a job that sucks the life out of them. Jobs are one of those things that can fall under supposed to’s. We as food eating, shelter needing humans need money and we subsequently get money through jobs. The jobs we have have often been dictated through expectations and influence. When we are young setting out to get a job/career we are often influenced and pushed into a safe and reliable direction. We follow safety and money. What we don’t realize at the beginning is that that job soon defines us and holds us in its cage of safety and we become trapped, or so we feel.

In our trapped state, even if unhappy in our position, stay where we are and get in the rhythm of supposed to’s. We are doing our job, supporting a family, paying a mortgage, buying groceries, etc. We end up living a “supposed to” kind of life. We can go from here and shift our perspective and find the pleasure and joy not only in our job but in what it offers us. This can work wonderfully for some. But for others not so much. Sometimes a shift in perspective only works for a bit and then we are back in the funk of feeling unsatisfied and unhappy in our job. If changing perspective doesn’t work then it may be time for a change and this comes in steps.

I’m not here to give you step by step directions on how to change jobs/careers because this was only an example of the supposed to’s we fall into. What I want you to see is that change is an option to get out of the supposed to’s and turn them into choose to’s.
How would you like to choose your day, your year, your life. Supposed to’s feel like a trap but only if we allow ourselves to become trapped. Open the door to the four walled cage and set yourself free. Supposed to’s are only a creation of your mind. You have a choice to live life through choice rather than control. Take steps toward this choice. Either shift perspective or move toward change. It may not be easy at first but living a life of choice is so much better than living the supposed to’s.

All You Need is Love, Love, Love, All We Need is Love

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What’s Love got to do with it?

In a typical day you can’t walk out the door, pick up your phone, scan through the TV without hearing about something that is plaguing our world.

There’s terrorism, guns, racism, political upheavals, random acts of violence, and more. It’s enough to eat away at us as if we’re a rotten apple in a sea of ants.

How does one proceed in a life  when the outcome of each day is unknown and fear abounds?

I have contemplated it. I have sat in circles of friends discussing it. I have sat in solitude with it. In all the worries, anger and problem solving I realized something so pure and true.

There is only one thing that can solve all these problems. It sounds so simple that it will appear at first impossible but hear me out before shutting me out.

It’s L-O-V-E.

Love has lost its innate purpose in our re-defining it and focusing it’s meaning on romantic love. But Love, pure and simple is a power so strong it can quite literally change the world.

I have been hearing the sentiment of love being the answer for so long that I admittedly just ignored it. I mean, really how can love really change anything, let alone the world. Then I got it – by feeling it.

For the last few years I’ve been reading spiritual books and I kept getting the repeated mantras about love, love, and love – then I got it. I really did.  I had been  lost in the idea of love being for people we’re close to like friends and family, but its more. It’s kind of like God, being the man with the long white beard in the clouds ruling over and judging us. We hold onto a socially created belief and can’t quite see past it. My basic misguided interpretations lead me astray.

Ironic isn’t it that it’s said that God is Love and here I’ve inadvertently used both, God and Love, as examples of something I couldn’t understand or even truly believe in.

So when did my “big moment” come of realizing that Love is in fact the answer?

I was driving in a parking lot of a shopping center when I came to a stop sign. I stopped, looked both ways and proceeded to go before I noticed a car coming from my left. I must have missed him before pulling out. I was in no way in accident territory. The driver had plenty of time to slow down. It was just the act of a bad driving move, one we have all made. As I moved forward apologetically I could feel the wrath of the person in the car. And it’s then that the message came to me, as if from the parting clouds and a bright light, the answer was love.

We all have a choice in life, in every moment of every day of every year in our whole life, how to be. In every situation we can choose to see through the lense of love or though a muddied lense. The driver of the car that I pulled out in front of had a choice to see my act in anger or in pure love. It’s an act of forgiveness so simple yet so powerful. It’s as if saying, “It’s OK you pulled in front of me. I forgive you. I love you. Have a beautiful day.”

Imagine that act, that reaction, in ALL aspects of your day. Then take that equation and multiply by all the people in the world choosing this same simple act.

The energy of the world would be electric.

Let’s not get lost here in my story up above about the driving incident. I meant to show just a simple example of how we have a choice of how to react in all situations in our lives.

This may be hard to hear and could possibly ruffle some feathers, but what if as a world, as a people, we let go of all anger and forgave? What if we laid our hands to our hearts, all of us, and said “Terrorists, I forgive you and I love you? I see that you were born in the pureness of love. You are not what’s on the outside but you are the pureness and innocence of what you were born from.” Now this isn’t going to change the direction of terrorist’s actions but with each step, with each act of love, we shift the energy from hate to love and love has the ability to multiply exponentially if we allow it to.

I know this idea sounds difficult. I mean how can we forgive someone who does such atrocious things? But really, is getting angry or retaliatory really helping? Is answering hate with more hate going to be effective? Absolutely not. I’m certain about this and I think if most of us thought about it we would all agree.

The saying “God is Love” once alluded me. Heck, God alluded me. I was for a while a non-believer. It, He, God, Source came back to me though and I have since realized God was never that looming man in the clouds but simply Love. It’s an energy, a power that we all hold within us. We have God within us at every minute in our hearts. God is Love.

We all have the power of God within us if we are willing to act through love. I’m not saying it’s easy. It’s actually very challenging. But if we all make the effort to act in Love, I promise you the trajectory of our world will change and all the above mentioned will be wiped out. There will be harmony. There will be peace. There will be hope and joy and sharing and light. There will be oneness. There will be LOVE.

When you have the choice, which you always do, Choose Love.

I offer you my unconditional love today and always,

Reb

Aging: The Person Behind the Wrinkles

I was walking down the stairs the other day and my oldest son was at the bottom of the landing when I paused. How could this boy, who was once so tiny now be taller than me? I realized it really wasn’t his size or his age that shocked me but that I could be old enough to have a son bigger than me. I often felt young enough to be his sister.

I’m 41 but feel no different inside than when say I was 8. Truly. I’m not being dramatic or strange here. OK, maybe a little strange but that is actually my normal. I just can’t see how this happened.

It’s the whole aging thing that’s getting me. I’m not afraid of getting old I just don’t get it. My reflection in the mirror is showing signs of time passing but my mind and heart are still the original me.

When I go out in public and get around say, 20 somethings I at first think “my peers” but soon realize that no, they see me as the old lady passing by. When and how did this happen? I’m really not getting it.

On the outside I look older than when I was 8, or 20, and even 38 but who I am is truly the same person as I’ve always been. I think I’m being tricked by my cells. They are what’s changing not me for the most part.

Yes, yes I know I’ve grown in character and am more knowledgeable but those are just attributes to who I truly am. It’s those cells that are tricking us all. When we look at an 80 year old our ageism kicks in and we see these 80 year olds as less capable, failing, etc. But I guarantee you that they don’t get it either. They feel the same as they did when they were young but it’s their bodies that have deceived them. The skin has sagged, the limbs have stiffened but their insides, their souls, are the same as they have always been.

When I was 8 I felt connected to something bigger than my human self. I felt part of something outside of my external environment. And now at 41 I still feel that way as if we are the same person, the 8 year old and the 41 year old. Which we are, I know.

It’s the disconnect from who I am and who I appear to be on the outside. It is quite deceiving. When I see my son I am left confused as to who I am. It is like looking down at a life I don’t quite understand how I got there.

Maybe though it’s not at all a disconnect but the realization that I am not my body but my soul. I am the entity within this body, within these changing cells, that without this body I still exist.

Maybe I am finding my real self, not the 5’4” red head, not the one who drives a white station wagon, not the one who has had X years of education, or who has accomplished x,y, and z. These “things” really aren’t me.

I am the soul, spirit, or energy that resides within this body that continually sheds it’s cells for new and different cells. I mean once I was 20” long. I have grown and changed in form but not in who I was born to be.

I welcome this new found understanding. And as for my son, I can know see him not merely as a body, one that has outgrown me, but as a soul housing that body living in unison with me. I’m quite lucky actually to see the essence that is him and not just his towering self.

 

What the New Year Means to Me

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I sit here on the eve of a new year and as with many humans the contemplation and planning machine has started. I can’t say I buy into the resolution declaring rituals because it feels so empty. When we set ourselves up for predetermined (determined by the changing of a calendar) change then we set ourselves up for inauthentic change.

What I personally love about the new year is the word “New”. It allows for a newness of life, of settings, of possibilities.

As I clean up the house after a chaotic Christmas with three kids and take down the decorations my palette becomes clear. I take in a deep breath and feel a freeness opening within me.  I am ready to take new steps and set my sites in many awe inspiring directions.

This is a perfect time for my awakening and allowing myself to be guided. I feel inspired. I feel determined. I feel rejuvenated. I feel an early Spring blossoming within me. I feel so utterly connected to something outside my human self that I feel nothing but confidence and support. I feel awesome.

So do I have any New Year’s Resolutions? No, I don’t. But what I do have is a positive plan of action.

I will read.

I will learn.

I will teach.

I will live.

I will love.

I will love even when it feels difficult.

I will live my truth openly and confidently.

I will listen more to my inner voice and trust.

I will no longer deny that part of me that I have been fearful to live.

I will listen.

I will share.

I will accept help when needed.

And finally I will love myself wholeheartedly without apology or question.

I welcome this coming year and all that it has to offer me. I look forward to my journey and am absolutely ecstatic to have you here with me.

Please share below what the coming year of 2016 holds for you.

In Absolute Love and Gratitude,

Reb